


100 Words I Can't Say

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, M/M, Mute!Phil, Phil is mute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:12:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is mute after a fire, goes to boarding school and it's all nice until it's not. Time to play which of them is going to die bingo! Yay!</p>
            </blockquote>





	100 Words I Can't Say

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be my English controlled assessment but the teacher has now changed the topic, so... My friends didn't understand it so I've done a lot of stuff to make it easier to understand but I think it's still a bit complicated. Any feedback would be fantastic. I case you didn't notice, Each text part is only 100 word which is really hard to get exact. It's probably more a set of drabbles really.

August:  
I feel the flames licking at the back of my neck, tickling my body. I think I pass out for a minute because the smoke is infesting me and then suddenly I’m being pulled up and slung over someone’s shoulder, like my dad used to do when I was little. I think it is my Dad for a second until I remember that I’m too old for that. My brother’s still in there, I can hear him screaming. I struggle to get away from the black seeping into my head but then the screaming stops and the darkness consumes me.

September:  
I am shown to where my dorm is and shoved through the door. A boy is sat on the end of the first bed, but when he sees me he stands, grins and offers me his hand. “I’m Dan, they told me you were coming. You must be Phil.” I nod and reach to share his hand, fingers trembling. I’m unpacking as some more boys pile in, “Chaps, this is Phil, our new roommate. Phil, these are some chaps. Phil doesn't say that much, do you?” I shake my head. I haven’t said anything since that fire. Not one word.

October:  
It’s been four weeks since I arrived here. It’s so much better than I expected. I think Dan was told why I am here, that I have no family left to look after me. He always knows exactly what I’m thinking and says it for me. Everyone in the dorm is sat in a circle, each sharing their most embarrassing moments and they don’t seem to care that I can’t join in. Later I see Chris and PJ kiss goodnight in the corner when they think no one is watching. I smile, I wouldn't tell anyone even if I could.

November:  
James, the school thug, is threatening Chris. He hasn't told anyone, except I think PJ, but he sleep talks in his nightmares. He hasn't noticed me yet, if he does; Dan promised me he would stand up for me. I feel safe when Dan’s around; I can’t believe I have a best friend as brilliant as Dan. I don’t deserve him, I can’t do anything for him, say anything to him, and yet he gives me a voice. My heart pounds whenever I look at him and I feel something squirming in my stomach. I've never had this feeling before.

December:  
PJ's pillow is wet every night, his face crusted with tears each morning. His curly hair sticks up in every direction and I think he’s been wearing that shirt for four days running. We have to stay strong for him, support him. James is going to court tomorrow. Dan says there are too many witnesses for him not to get found guilty but he keeps on repeating it, as if he’s trying to convince himself more than us. I just feel like curling up in a ball and hibernating forever. It feels weird without Chris in our dorm. Too quiet.

January:  
James has been charged of second degree murder. It helps, knowing he’s been convicted of something. PJ still cries himself to sleep each night but he makes himself look presentable now. Dan and I spend more time alone now. We are in the woods by the school when he whispers, “I love you.” I feel my mouth open, trying to force out my reply but my stupid brain won’t let me, and instead I start crying into his shoulder, “hey, it’s OK.” I hear him whisper, “I understand f you can’t answer,” but I want to answer. I need to.

A bit more January:  
"I love you too"

**Author's Note:**

> OK, I'll be honest, I just couldn't fit the last 4 words in. Sorry about that
> 
> EDIT: okay so i really don't like this fic but i'll leave it up anyway for the sake of embarrassing posterity


End file.
